Resolutions of a Non-Resolutionist

It is that time of the year, time to put 2012 on a bunch of checks so I don’t act like a dork and forget and put 2011 on them. It is also time to put the Christmas decorations away. It has actually been fun having them up since I haven’t done so in 5 years. Last year I kind of did, I bought a small pre-lit tree for $15.00. It was the kind that is supposed to be outside on your doorstep. I got it after Christmas for when my parents came for a visit in early January to celebrate our Christmas. Sooooo…I don’t really count that. It is also time for The NHL Winter Classic which is an outdoor hockey game. The biggest thing that happens this time of year is the making of resolutions.

Apparently New Years is the oldest of the holidays and started around 4000 years ago in ancient Babylon. The biggest difference is that it was celebrated on the first day of spring. The Romans are the ones who started messing with the calendar and moved it to January 1 but then Julius Caesar tweaked it even more by moving January so it would match up with the sun. When he did that the previous year lasted 445 days. Talk about the longest year ever.

When I was looking for more good luck New Year’s foods besides Black Eyed Peas and Pork/Sauerkraut I came across a site that said resolutions started in Babylon also. The most popular resolutions were resolving to return borrowed farm equipment sooner. I’m guessing all the toiling in the dirt and on the farm they wouldn’t have had to worry about weight loss resolutions.

Resolution is defined as: “a formal expression of opinion or intention made” or “a resolve or determination.” Don’t you hate when they use part of the word to define a word. A-nnoying!

For me, resolutions are like resolving to set myself up for failure. I really don’t want to take the clean slate of 2012 and write on it with permanent marker. Too much pressure. Something like only 12% (I swear I didn’t make that percentage up. I read it somewhere on the internet so it must be true) of people actually fulfills their resolutions. Not very good odds if you ask me. I hope that I continue to grow, change, and build better habits everyday not just on the first day of the new year. So, I hope I have evolved enough to leave resolutions behind me and just live.

So in closing…essentially, I am saying that I am Non-Resolutionist and I resolve to continue to be as such.

2011 in Review

Another year comes to a close and I can’t say that I’ll be sorry to see this one go. I know for many people it was one they would love to turn from and never look back on. Kind of like Lots wife looking back on Sodom and Gomorrah then turning into a pillar of salt but for me I’m thinking about it more in terms of Medusa. Maybe if I don’t look it straight in the eye I won’t turn to stone.  It had its ups and downs much like any other year but this one apparently had a lesson for me to learn. I got the message but I think it is in Greek and I am still unsure of the lesson. I may never know what the lesson was and I think I might be ok with that or at the very least come to terms with it.

This is the year that joblessness came for me. It didn’t just come for me it bitched slapped me upside of the head. Bastard. This has been a first for me. My first job was as a babysitter at the age of 11. My brother and I were also entrepreneurs growing up. We used to go crickin’ and catch crawfish so sell to our neighbor to give to his coon dogs during training. We also had a couple of rabbits and would sell their poop to people for their gardens. Oh yeah, we were slick. I baby sat all through high school then went to work at a camp during the summers. Once I got to college I worked two jobs while in school and worked at the camp in the summers. Then I became a nanny…well, you get the idea. I have always worked. Always.

I have now been out of work for 9 months. Which I have to tell you is totally sucktastic. It isn’t for the lack of trying to find another job. I have now sent out 33 resumes (give or take one or two). The continued lack of response from prospective employers is totally disheartening. This hard to explain but it is really hard on your self esteem. I have tried to explain it a couple of times and haven’t really done a good job. Losing your job (having it taken from you) and not being able to find another job right away just does something to you. I mean, do I smell? Did I offend? Do I have a booger hanging out of my nose? I have also tried to explain how I feel like I am just on vacation from my job. It is like I will be going back to work at anytime and I have been just playing. I know this feeling will go away once I have another job. I just kind of feel like I am in my own never ending Groundhog’s Day and am waiting to wake up to a different day.

My family also lost my cousin Eddie John this past month. It has been super hard on my Mom who is the youngest of 9 children and because of this has had to see a lot of her family go before her. My cousin, Nettie, (one of Eddie John’s girls) is getting “married” in a couple of weeks but when Eddie John was in the hospital and they knew it wouldn’t be much longer Nettie and her fiancée brought their priest to the hospital and got married in front of her dad. The doctors cut back a bit on his morphine so that he would be aware of the ceremony. He passed away a couple of days later.

Good parts of 2011 have been Virginia and this house. Being in a different place while I recover from the last 5 years (well, 3 really) has been unbelievably great. Getting to reconnect with old friends has been amazing. Angus and Ophelia have been pretty happy having me around all the time. Sitting on a porch swing reading a book and drinking lemonade is my kind of happy.

Maybe I should have gone to the store and gotten some good luck foods. Black Eyed Peas, Lentils, Cabbage, Doughnuts…I could use all the help I can get.

So, 2011, I wish you farewell. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.