“A Couple of Extra Bucks Could be Floating in Your Direction”

Bwahahahahahaha! Can’t. Breathe. Kind of funny that this is the fortune that got drawn out of the fortune bowl considering the last fortune that got pulled and I wrote about was “Poverty is No Disgrace.” This one, “A Couple of Extra Bucks Could be Floating in Your Direction is kind of a fun follow up. Oh, the irony and how funny. Let’s hope this one comes true. Ima gonna keep my fingers crossed.

A couple extra bucks would be lovely. I don’t need a million but I wouldn’t turn it down. I would be quite happy with enough to become debt free. I would be more than content with enough money so that I don’t have to panic if my unemployment benefits run out again. I would love to be able to have enough to pay off all my bills, pay my rent for the rest of my lease, have a comfortable amount in my savings account, have my truck brought up to all its required (recommended) maintenance and any other hidden gems that it needs to have done, and a trip to the dentist. Lasisk eye surgery would be righteous. The thought of not having to wear my glasses or worry about my contacts would be brilliant. I’d adopt. Like for real.

Do I need those things? No, but wouldn’t it be nice? It’s nice to dream. I can dream even bigger than that but it seems kind of selfish. The little bit of money that I have left over this week I am going to go to the grocery store and fill up a bag to take to my churches food bank. See, I realize that I may not have much but there are people out there are far worse off than me and that don’t have food. That could be me in the near future. And THAT point is mos’def’ NOT lost on me.

Floating…hmmmm. Will my bucks float on a lily pad in a pond, on a leaf down a lazy river, on a puddle of goodness, or on the wind? Oh, oh, I know on a fluffy cloud! Maybe there will be rainbows and unicorns. Floating on a hazy of sea of pot smoke? Just kidding people, I say no to drugs. I’m weird enough.

Seriously, how will I know that the bucks floating my way are meant for me? Will they have my name on them? Will they come in an envelope? Will I win something? Will they magically appear? Maybe I should play the lucky numbers on the back of this fortune. Do 19, 26, 6, 45, 42, and 36 sound lucky? I think I might have some spare change around. Maybe I will gather it all up and play those numbers this week.

Wait a minute. I just had a horrifying thought. What if this didn’t mean bucks as in moolah, dinero, scratch, Benjamin’s, bacon, bread, dough, clams, dead presidents, king’s ransom, or loot? BOOTY!!! I just really like saying booty. It sounds funny. What if this means bucks as in Bambi? That would suck. Gotta be careful what you wish for.

Writing myself to the right side of happy.

"Poverty is No Disgrace"

Truer words may never have been spoken…or written on a fortune from a fortune cookie. Believe it or not I actually got this fortune in September. The irony of this nugget of wisdom is not lost on me and the fact that I received it during my current state of joblessness adds a bit of a “do-do-do” weirdness to it. For many months I had/have struggled with the feeling of shame that I have felt with not having a job. By no means am I below the poverty level. I am lucky. I qualified for Unemployment and 4 weeks ago the funds were “exhausted”…which resulted in a minor freak out at Thanksgiving time. I then had to apply for Emergency Unemployment Benefits and was lucky enough to qualify; however, I went over three weeks with no money coming in. Scary…probably the most scared I have ever been or at the very least in a good long while. The thought that I wouldn’t be able to pay rent and would be homeless was heart stopping.

The definition of Poverty is: - The state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; condition of being poor

Ok, ok…so maybe on some level I am at the poverty level since I very little money and other than unemployment I have no means of support. I am quite possibly one step away from Ramen noodles.

The definition of disgrace is - the loss of respect, honor, or esteem; ignominy; shame: the disgrace of criminal.  - A person, act, or thing that cause shame, reproach, or dishonor or is dishonorable or shameful. - The state of being out of favor; exclusion from favor, confidence, or trust: courtiers and ministers in disgrace.  

This one was a wee bit harder. With regards to my family and friends, in no way did I lose their respect or esteem. I certainly didn’t do anything to bring about dishonor to myself or my family name. However, on a personal level, the esteem with which I hold myself at times feels like I should be ashamed. When you are on the phone with the employees at the unemployment agency you feel like somehow this was your fault even though you know it isn’t. The last time I was on the phone with the agency the representative sounded like I was inconveniencing her and quite possible a bug she wanted to squish. She barely talked to me and when she did it was short and rude. While “talking” with me she was also making plans for the weekend with co-workers. Now let me say this, I KNOW not all unemployment employees are like that. You know what is kind of ironic though…if I and everyone else that is jobless and having to file for unemployment had a job THEY would be jobless. Maybe they should think about that. How would they feel?

Growing up we didn’t have a lot of money. I know that my family benefited from the WIC program and at one point we even qualified for food stamps. I even remember going to clinics to receive medical attention and childhood shots. I don’t ever remember feeling ashamed. I don’t know how my parents felt though because we never talked about it. My mom made it fun though. I remember she would let me count out the food stamps like monopoly money. I didn’t know any different. She also made having breakfast for dinner fun. I didn’t know it was because it was less expensive. I’m very thankful for my upbringing. I was a happy kid and I felt loved. I didn’t miss the extra things in life because we never had them and I turned out just fine. My parents instilled a very strong work and moral ethic in me. I have a healthy respect for money. So again, there is no disgrace in poverty. There really isn’t. Actually, I feel like I am living in a state of grace.

Things I have learned since becoming jobless:  It truly wasn’t my fault. There is no shame in it. You find out who your true friends are. It is ok to ask for help. You are not alone.

Writing to the right side of happy.

 

“Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today.” …in bed

I am one of “those” people. By “those” I mean when I go out to a Chinese restaurant or order out for Chinese I look forward to the end of the meal so I can snatch up my fortune cookie. I like the crinkle of the cellophane wrapper when you try to open it without breaking the cookie. I like snapping the cookie and eating it even if it is slightly stale. But most of all, by “those” I mean that I heart the fortune itself.

I look forward to smoothing it out and reading it. While partaking of Chinese food in a social setting with a group of friends, I and many others, like to add “in bed” to the end of fortune when reading the fortune out loud. This is actually a form of one-upmanship in its purest forms. Come on peeps, you know it is. You all sit through the whole meal hoping that the fortune you pick is the best one. You start to contemplate if you should invoke the “cookie closest to you”, “cookie farthest from you”, or the ever popular “mayhem cookie grab” strategy. Which one will reap the winner? OMG the pressure!!! Wait, what did I eat for dinner? A good example of this is a fortune I got a while back “To affirm is to make firm.”…in bed. Bwhahaha! I love that one. This ritual has forevermore earned its place in Pop Culture by making an appearance in an episode of “Beverly Hills, 90210” NOT “90210” but the original and still the best. Those precocious yet completely relatable teens partook of the fortune cookie “in bed” ritual.  

Then there is the often neglected “B-side” of the fortune. I have yet to play those lucky numbers. Maybe I should. It couldn’t hurt in my current state of joblessness but on the flip side that would mean parting with a dollar. Has anyone actually played those numbers? If they have, I wonder if they were really lucky. Now a days there is also the “Learn Chinese” section of the “B-side”. I dig this and have tried. I wonder if Rosetta Stone has a fortune cookie section.  

As we all know, 90 percent (I made up that percentage) of the time fortune cookies actually do NOT dispense fortunes. Probably one of my top ten pearls of fortune cookie wisdom is “Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today”. True story. This fortune sealed the deal for me. I thought to myself “Self, you like to keep your fortunes, right? Maybe you should help promote literacy by writing a blog about fortune cookies.” Then myself answered “Self that is genius idea.” So here I am writing a blog. There will be posts about other stuff too but I really like the idea of expounding on a fortune by really getting to the heart of it.

Am I really promoting literacy by buying a box of fortune cookies or am I really helping the cookie manufacturer? If a fortune cookie goes uneaten or unread is it truly lucky? A fortune cookie by another name is just a cookie but still good with chocolate ice cream.

LEARN CHINESE – East 东

On the continuing quest to write myself happy….