Tuesday, December 6, 2011

“Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today.” …in bed

I am one of “those” people. By “those” I mean when I go out to a Chinese restaurant or order out for Chinese I look forward to the end of the meal so I can snatch up my fortune cookie. I like the crinkle of the cellophane wrapper when you try to open it without breaking the cookie. I like snapping the cookie and eating it even if it is slightly stale. But most of all, by “those” I mean that I heart the fortune itself.

I look forward to smoothing it out and reading it. While partaking of Chinese food in a social setting with a group of friends, I and many others, like to add “in bed” to the end of fortune when reading the fortune out loud. This is actually a form of one-upmanship in its purest forms. Come on peeps, you know it is. You all sit through the whole meal hoping that the fortune you pick is the best one. You start to contemplate if you should invoke the “cookie closest to you”, “cookie farthest from you”, or the ever popular “mayhem cookie grab” strategy. Which one will reap the winner? OMG the pressure!!! Wait, what did I eat for dinner? A good example of this is a fortune I got a while back “To affirm is to make firm.”…in bed. Bwhahaha! I love that one. This ritual has forevermore earned its place in Pop Culture by making an appearance in an episode of “Beverly Hills, 90210” NOT “90210” but the original and still the best. Those precocious yet completely relatable teens partook of the fortune cookie “in bed” ritual.  

Then there is the often neglected “B-side” of the fortune. I have yet to play those lucky numbers. Maybe I should. It couldn’t hurt in my current state of joblessness but on the flip side that would mean parting with a dollar. Has anyone actually played those numbers? If they have, I wonder if they were really lucky. Now a days there is also the “Learn Chinese” section of the “B-side”. I dig this and have tried. I wonder if Rosetta Stone has a fortune cookie section.  

As we all know, 90 percent (I made up that percentage) of the time fortune cookies actually do NOT dispense fortunes. Probably one of my top ten pearls of fortune cookie wisdom is “Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today”. True story. This fortune sealed the deal for me. I thought to myself “Self, you like to keep your fortunes, right? Maybe you should help promote literacy by writing a blog about fortune cookies.” Then myself answered “Self that is genius idea.” So here I am writing a blog. There will be posts about other stuff too but I really like the idea of expounding on a fortune by really getting to the heart of it.

Am I really promoting literacy by buying a box of fortune cookies or am I really helping the cookie manufacturer? If a fortune cookie goes uneaten or unread is it truly lucky? A fortune cookie by another name is just a cookie but still good with chocolate ice cream.
On the continuing quest to write myself happy….

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